The Peace That Passes Understanding

Two years ago today at exactly 12 noon the operation of my life and for my life started. It's called a mastectomy.

I continue to thank the Lord for His hand of mercy upon me during those months leading up to the operation and even until today. Months which included first discovering the lump and going to the doctor, having the biopsy, being told it was metatized when it wasn't, going to HUP, undergoing chemo every two weeks for six treatments, losing my hair (which is another story!), and finally on October 19, 2006 having a mastectomy with TRAM flap reconstruction. Afterwards, there was more chemo and eventually radiation but again, stories for another time.

I want to tell about what happened to me the night before my operation and the next day. The night before I was, of course, getting a little anxious. I was laying in my bed not being able to sleep (no surprise I'm sure!) and thinking maybe I should just forget about this and not go through with it. To be honest, at this point I was more afraid of being under anesthesia then anything.

I don't know if it was a dream or a vision, but all of a sudden, I saw myself in the operating room, laying on the table and all around me were people dressed like doctors but some how I knew they really weren't doctors, but angels. And, at my head, though I didn't see His face, Jesus stood next to me with His hand on my shoulder. Such peace and calmness came over me that I actually went to sleep for the rest of the night. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.

The peace continued with me up until I laid on the operating room table. I didn't realize until later that the OR looked exactly like it did in my "dream". I even asked the nurse what time it was. She told me 12 noon, told me to count backwards from 100 and that was the last I knew until they woke me up (or tried to anyway!) 8 hours later when I was in the room where I would be staying for the next five days.

My hubby, DD Dawn, and our friends, Marian & Eddie, were at the hospital with me. I was feeling so calm and peaceful that I actually took pics of us waiting in the waiting room for the nurse to come get me. I am, afterall, a scrapbooker....well, somewhat!!

Only two people were allowed to go back to the OR waiting room. Gene and Dawn went with me. Even there, peace and calmness reigned and I continued taking pics (I've tried to find them to post one but can't seem to find them anywhere). I had written on the breast that was to be removed "This one" with an arrow! I wasn't gonna let the doctors make a mistake! Didn't take a pic of that but was surprised when the doctor came in to do his artwork that he didn't say anything! Maybe he's use to that kind of thing being done.

Everything went smoothly with the operation. I was, of course, sore afterwards but surprisingly, not as bad as what some people had told me I would be and I thought I would be. The nurses actually had to tell me to use the morphine pump before I was helped to get out of bed. I guess it worked. It still hurt but don't know if it would have been worse or not without the medicine. I'm not a big medicine person so tried not to use it unless I really really had to! I kept telling myself that "tomorrow this time will be better", which it was. Each day got easier and easier to move and get about.

I will say, though, I don't know why anyone in the world would actually elect to have cosmetic surgery!!!

The thing I hated the most was the drains! Yuck!! Had to come home with four of them. Was really happy when the last one was taken out. Having them taken out was a bit uncomfortable, but thankfully they came out quick. Nurses said take a deep breath and out they came!

The thing I loved the most was all the support I received from family and friends and even people I never met or know. Along with the grace and mercy of my Lord, the support I received helped tremendously in my recovery!!!

When I find myself getting anxious or nervous about something, I try to remember the peace that I received that night two years ago. It was real and I will never forget it.

God bless and may God give you the peace that passes understanding.

Phil. 4:4-7